I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
