He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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