Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm really busy with my period
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