I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I need water and some morals
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
