you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
