I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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