Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I need water and some morals
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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