Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
