She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
