she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
