guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
