He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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