is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
