We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
