why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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