I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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