Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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