I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
