it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Vodka?
Forever.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
It's rum buckets o'clock
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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