sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
