Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
