i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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