found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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