She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
