why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
