She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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