Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
