Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
