I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
