who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just googled if crying burns calories
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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