the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
