It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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