his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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