i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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