I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
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