actually, I'm a sock model
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
That accounts for only three of the penises
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
