My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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