At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize