Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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