I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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