He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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