Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Randomize
