it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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