Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize