I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize