Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
