mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
