You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
