omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
