The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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