living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
