actually, I'm a sock model
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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