Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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