return my video game
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
