Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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