i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
