Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
