I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize