are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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