So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
its not stalking. its research.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
