im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
