I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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