You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
