You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
