Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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