so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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