You work out of a Hotel?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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