i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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